I am Not a Doormat

Many of us have trouble when it comes to standing up for ourselves or others. Instead we sit there and be treated poorly, or watch others be treated poorly.

It’s a really shitty feeling when someone treats you poorly, when you have done nothing wrong, especially when it’s by someone you care about.

I find myself always trying to make others happy, when I forget about my own happiness. I also have noticed that I don’t like conflict, so rather than speaking my mind, I just agree. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve gotten better at caring about my feelings and realizing that speaking my mind is more beneficial than just sitting there. Sometimes though you get so caught up in being treated like shit, you think its normal. You start to make excuses for the person’s behaviour.

Maybe they are stressed, maybe they aren’t happy with themselves, maybe they are just having a bad day, maybe they are mad at someone else and they are taking it out on you, or maybe they are just a bully.

Sure, maybe this is all true, but at the same time, why the fuck do you deserve to be treated this way? Why make excuses for this person’s behaviour?

Maybe because you feel bad? Maybe because you’ve been friends for so long? Maybe because you love them, and you think it’s normal? Maybe because it’s been like this for so long, you’ve forgotten what it’s like to be treated with respect? Maybe because you’re scared to speak up and express that you don’t appreciate the way they treat you because they will freak out?

Regardless of the countless reasons as to why they treat you poorly, and why you let it happen, you should stop. You don’t need that type of negativity in your life. Life is hard enough. people you care about shouldn’t treat you in a negative way when you want to voice your opinion, or let them know that the way they treat you sometimes makes you upset. Why would someone who genuinely likes you, and wants to be apart of your life treat you like a pile of shit? That’s the thing…they wouldn’t.

As we get older, you would think that people would grow up, and start to respect others around them, and be able to listen to constructive criticism, or genuinely feel bad when they upset another person and try and see both sides… but I guess there are still some people out there who think they are perfect, and it’s everyone else’s fault but their own. Those people should take a hard look in their mirror, and realize that maybe it’s them, and not everyone else.

Relationships (friends, romantic, family) should be a partnership, where you can talk freely to one another about how you’re feeling without having the feeling that you’re walking on eggshells. If you’re not able to voice your opinion without getting in trouble, then what is the point?

Here is a list of 10 characteristics of a person who is probably not worth your time:

  1. They believe everything is someone elses fault
  2. They can never seem to realize when they are at fault
  3. They talk badly about others
  4. They are rude to other people in front of you
  5. They don’t have many friends
  6. You only are “getting along” when everything is going their way
  7. It’s their way or the fucking highway
  8. They don’t know how to have a civil conversation
  9. Everything is an argument
  10. If someone vocies their opinion and they don’t agree with you oh boy… you’re in trouble

To only imagine somone having these characteristics… I feel awful for the people who have to deal with them, but imagine being that person? I would imagine they would live a very miserable life, and the thing that makes me the saddest, is they are the only one to blame.

It may be difficult to cut ties with people like this, but in the long run you will be so much better off. There will be people out there who respect you, who listen to you, who care about your feelings, who enjoy your company, who stick up for you, and who genuinely want to be apart of your life.

Stand up for yourself, realize your worth and get rid of the negative people, so you have more space for more positive people in your life. I promise it will be worth it in the end.

 

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