I am sure that everyone has thought about how they want their life to end up, regarding their career, their house, how many children they will have, how many pets, and don’t forget the type of person they will end up with.
We have thought about what type of person they will be like, what type of career they will have, if they like animals, if they are funny, how tall they are, their hair colour, their hobbies, how many children they want/if they want children, where they want to live etc, etc. We have painted a picture of the type of person we see ourselves with.
But for some strange reason we keep finding ourselves dating or liking people who have none of the qualities we actually want in a partner. Why is that? Honestly, I couldn’t tell you, because I am 100% guilty of this.
This is sad, but true. I have a list… of what I want in a partner. Yes, I admit it, I actually took the time to write out a list of traits I want in a partner (In my defense I had a few glasses of wine prior).
Here are a few (a lot) things that are in my list:
- Nice smile
- must LOVE dogs
- Respects my friends
- Clean eating
- Has realistic goals
- Family oriented
- Knows how to cook
- Doesn’t want to live in the city
- Likes Netflix
- Sense of humour
- Must have their shit together
- 5’10” +
That may sound like a lot, and that I am picky, and it’s true. I don’t think you should just settle for anyone. If there are certain things you want in a person, you shouldn’t feel guilty for it. Sure, it may be harder to find a partner because of the excessive things you want, but at the same time, if there are certain things you want in a partner, and you settle for someone who doesn’t possess the traits you are looking for, ultimately you will end up disappointed and probably resenting your partner because they are unable to give you want you want.
I always wondered why my relationships didn’t work… I thought maybe we just grew apart, or they turned into an asshole, or I am a crazy person, but now that I think about it, it was because they were never actually what I wanted in the long run. They were what I wanted right now. They were Mr. Right Now. Maybe at the beginning I enjoyed their company, and thought they were great because we had some similar interests, but as the “honeymoon” stage wore off, I started to realize they weren’t what I was looking for. Instead of actually being honest with myself and ending the relationship because I knew there was no future, I stayed with them hoping things may “change”, when in reality they weren’t going to.
Why do we keep settling for Mr. Right Now, instead of Mr. Right?
I’ve asked myself this question a lot recently, and I think it’s because we would rather have someone in our life, rather than no one. Maybe we are just bored? Maybe we like the attention? Whatever it is, we have all been there.
Rather than dating someone because you think they may magically be everything you want and change for you, stay single and focus on yourself, and Mr. Right will come along when you least expect it. It may take a long time, but one day it will happen, I promise 😉