The Two Words That Will Kill Your Relationship: Always & Never

Have you ever used the words always and never while getting into a fight with your significant other? I bet you have, because I can think of countless times I used those words. As those words are coming out of your mouth you’re not thinking about the context of the words, you’re just thinking about trying to prove a point, but when you actually think about it, always & never are two words that make you sound douchey as fuck, especially if what you’re saying is false. Always and never are two words that should never be used… (even though I just used it…)

When I fight with my significant other, and I am trying to prove a point I tend to drift to the words always and never. (Yes, sometimes I am a douche) Some great examples that people in relationships may say to one another using the words always and never are:

  • You never see me
  • You’re always with your friends
  • You never do anything nice for me
  • Why are you always so rude?
  • You never appreciate the little things I do for you
  • You are always late
  • You never care what I have to say 
  • I always try and help you, and you never help me
  • You never want to do anything I want to do
  • We always do what you want
  • You never listen to my advice
  • You’re always on your phone

The statements above are most likely false. If they aren’t false… you probably shouldn’t be with that person. Just remember, if you are going to use the words always or never, be certain that you are correct.

I can admit I have used the words always and never on many occasions and I never realized how rude and hurtful I sound until someone said it to me. Here’s an example of how a fight can escalate because of the words always and never:

Girl: “You never do anything nice for me…”

Boy: “Yes I do, last week I made you dinner…You forgot? You never remember when I do anything nice for you”.

Girl: “Jeez, whatever, all I said was you never do anything nice for me”.

Boy: “OMFG I do nice things for you all the time, you just never remember”.

See? The words always and never are BAD! These two words cause a vicious circle of arguments.

This misconception of the words always and never has fucked up relationships. Hearing someone tell you that you never care about their feelings hurts a great deal; especially if you do in fact care about their feelings. It makes you feel that your partner doesn’t recognize the things you do for them, and that can get exhausting pretty fast. If you frequently put these thoughts of your partner always or never doing something in their heads, you’re going to fuck up the relationship. They will start to believe you actually think these things, when you most likely don’t. We need to think of other words to use when arguing with our significant other.

Maybe next time you’re in a fight with your significant other, rather than using the words always and never you should express how you feel, and try and remember why you’re with them in the first place. Rather than focusing on the negative, think about all the good things they do. ❤

– Joanna xo ❤

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