I’m sure we have all been there at one point in our lives; when we dated a person who mistreated us, but we continued to deal with their torment. Rather than recognizing that we probably deserve better, we continue to stay with them and hope that, one day, they may “change”. This is despite the fact that they probably won’t, and have most likely acted this way in their other relationships.
I’ve been in this situation a few times, where I was with someone who literally only thought about themselves but did nice things for me when they started to notice I was drifting away from their grasp. They pretend they want a relationship, but in reality, they just want someone to boost their ego. These people should be locked away in some sort of cave. The problem with these types of people – who manipulate you into thinking they “love” and “care” for you – is that you start to believe it yourself. Even when everyone around you is telling you that they are no good, you convince yourself that they are, and you end up getting more and more tangled in their web of lies. As Skylar Grey put it: “You had me caught in every web, that you weaved. But do you ever think of me, when you lie?”
When I was dating one person in particular, they were only lying when they opened their mouth…which I guess isn’t 24 hours a day, but around 18 hours. They have to sleep at some point. After all, they aren’t a vampire. At first; when this person told their extravagant stories of going to University of Minnesota for hockey, having Phil Kessel as their line mate, putting a $700,000 down payment on a house (cash), having his cousin be friends with Sam Smith, being Macklemore’s wing man one night, and owning an electrical company, I thought to myself: “Wow, this guy is pretty fucking loaded, and cool, I’m so lucky that he wants to date me”
As the time passed, he stuck with these exaggerated stories which everyone so blatantly knew were lies; but no one ever questioned him. Even I didn’t question him, and I was his girlfriend. I just let him continue to tell his stories to everyone he spoke to.
Not only did he tell lies, but he really liked attention from females – any female he could find, in fact. He would message and ask them if they want to meet up for some fun, which clearly implies the inquiry of sexual relations. These females would message me and show me conversations, screenshotting his Plenty of Fish profile (POF); but he denied all of it. He would claim that women are upset that he doesn’t want to date them, which is why they would create POF profiles of him and fabricate counterfeit conversations to frame him. As Shaggy would say, “it wasn’t me”. I guarantee if I caught him red-handed with a woman, he would tell me it’s his twin brother and NOT him (no, he doesn’t have a twin brother).
Not only would he cheat on me with multiple people, but his excuses to get out of seeing me were pretty damn amazing. Lying about your friends brother commiting suicide so you don’t have to see me one weekend is pretty fucked up & I’m pretty sure electricians don’t have to work late every single weekend from 9am one morning to 7am the next morning. Plus if you owned your own electrical company, you would think that your employee’s would work the over night shifts, but nope… he did. I guess “I’m doing electrical” was code for “I’m doing (insert name here).
After a few months of hearing made up stories about work trips, vacations, meeting celebrities, and being drafted to the NHL, I finally realized that I am dating a compulsive liar and I had to figure out a way out of this fictional fantasy I was apart of before it was too late. I would brainstorm ways on how to break up with him with one of the girls he tried talking to while we were together. One day during our relationship she messaged me and told me he messaged her asking to meet up and have some fun. She politely declined, and we were friends ever since. We tried to find another girl, so we could be like the women in the movie The Other Woman. But we didn’t have luck; he already brainwashed them into thinking he was Prince Charming.
I feel bad for the next girl he does this to, because no one deserves to be treated this way. Yes, of course, I could have walked away when I realized I was being treated poorly, but when you are in a relationship with a manipulative person, it is very hard. I’ve always told myself, if someone cheats on me or treats me poorly I would walk away, but it seriously much harder than you think. I hope no one ends up with this guy, and if you do, I am so sorry!
– Joanna xo ❤